I have fallen and I can get back up with Christ!

Forgive me for I have sinned
forgive me Father for not letting the Holy spirit win
thank you for the life you have blessed me with
thank you for letting me give my son another forehead kiss
forgive me father for challenging your stern fist
forgive me for treating your word like a chore list
forgive me father for having a unwed spouse
sorry father for the weak temper that makes me scream and shout
sorry father for my busy body tongue that can sometimes let stuff spill out
father please forgive me for my sins I want the holy spirit to win
I want to thank you father for the things I've got
and want to apologize for coveting the things I do not
sorry father for thinking why me God instead of thinking of why not
sorry father for defying all I have been taught
sorry father for thinking I can handle it all
sorry God for not picking up my hands and giving you a call
sorry God for being to ashamed to talk to you
sorry God for living a lie instead of the truth
sorry God for letting my guilt and shame come between us
sorry God for betraying your trust
sorry father for doing what I want instead of what I must
after all the things I have done to you
your still there with arms wide open waiting for me to come to the truth
I slapped you in the face with my sin and Lord you turned your cheek
You've picked me up when I was weak
My whole life I've felt alone
Ive been searching for someone to be there for me someone strong
and all this time you've been there through my right and wrongs
you've been there Lord you've held my hand all along
not letting it go just squeezing it so tight that my hand became numb
I'm tired of being def and dumb
my eyes are opening to see you with arms wide
to see you hurting on the cross for the tears you cried
to see what God sacrificed
how many of you could send your child to die a pain full death
if you tell the truth you couldn't maybe someone else
but not your flesh and blood
you don't have the strength to send your child to die on two pieces of wood
Thank you God for giving me my second chance
thank you God for giving me the opportunity to let my mustard seed grow into a plant
Thank you God for every time you've wiped my tears
Thank you God for helping me overcome my fears
I may not become a college scholar
I may not ever earn a million dollars
but don't put your money on any bet
because my God hasn't given up on me not yet
he will always be there holding my hand
helping me through my purpose filling out his plan
helping me raise my boys into young men
he will be there forgiving me for my sin
he will be there more for me then any friend
because he is my father my creator my provider
I love you God!
1 Corinthians 2:9 No ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him

This one pretty much speaks for itself I was close to God and I let my life become more important. I let the cell phones, the Internet, the Jehovah witness that come to your door invade in on his turf and my life paid for it but most of all my relationship with God paid for it. Life can be overwhelming to the point why we forget why we are here in the first place. I tell my son God gave you a special job to tell everyone that Jesus died on the cross for you. He saved you and he loved you. I am not telling you this to get props. I am telling you this because we all have a hole in us. Where God is supposed to be and when he is not there we feel like zombies. We function we smile but we are zombies. We can interact but we are empty inside. That is were I was. I knew what I needed but most of all it took me a year and half to figure out I had to be silent before God. Meaning I got down on my knees and told God how sorry I was. That I was here and now I can be mended and used for him. Speak to me tell me what you want me to to I am here for YOU now! How much I knew I was doing wrong and still did it despite of the consequences. I have fallen since then and now in the process of getting up. I think that is the most important thing. I have heard about following Christ is "You will fall again and again. Just how quickly you pick yourself back up and how you do it determines your fate. I am so tired of being weak and letting this world get to me. I just wish I could not fall so much.

Me and my oldest son Alex who is 4