Okay don't want to start this as a typical introduction. Here it is though name is Ashley 22 and have 3 boys. I have experienced alot in my life and write poetry, songs and blogs about it. To help me feel better and I just heard you can make money from it. I am hoping to do that. All my stuff is original if I do post a quote I give credit where credit is due. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff if not then give me feedback please on how you think it could be better. I love feedback but take everything with a grain of salt. So with that I am going to post some poetry that I have wrote.



Dear mom.........
Dear mom this letter is addressed to you. I miss my mother I do . What has this come to . Why do you make me and sis suffer. Why does my sister say to me "I need a mother!" You continue to hurt her . That is the worst mother. You cant hurt me. I have cut you out of my life completely. Because of your deceiving drama filled life. You hurt me enough you no longer hold the knife to my pain. You no longer drive me insane. I know longer live the life of a derailed train. I haven't seen or spoke to you in three years and I still cry tears because of you. There is no end to the sorrow you've caused me in my childhood. Do I think it is fair for you to live the rest of your life unforgiven and prosecuted. No I don't but, should I be put on trial for not wanting to be drove insane by your drama and your pain not to mention I have a child to think about now who needs a thing called structure. No not a building with textures . But a bed of his own to sleep in a Family. Something I've searched my whole life to find and he and his father is it I found it finally. You continue to try to hurt me through my dear Misty whom I take credit for raising. But your not hurting me you hurting her and soon she too will see . She will see what was once a momma is no longer. You always be a mother but for me personally you will never be momma again. I go through life pretending that you don't exist I clinch my fist every time I think how could a mother do that to her children. How could she choose her man friends over us girls. When I would give my son the world. I am now a mother and I see how easy it is to love your children. How easy it is to not betray them . I can sit here all night and tell your faults and sit here for about one minute and tell you the good things you have done in my childhood. But I want instead I will forgive you for failing motherhood. There is your grade it is not just a simple test it doesn't just effect you if effect me to for I am forever stained with hate in my heart until I come to peace with my childhood and part with this derailed train I FORGIVE YOU for failing me .


I wrote this about 3 years ago. I felt the need to put this on here for you to know the feelings I felt and how I got the point. I am now. At this point in my life I was pregnant with my second child scared to death and wanting a mother. My mom is 40 years old and is dying of throat tumors/ meth addiction. I left my mom and my sister (Misty 19) whom I raised because as we all know a man chasing druggie don't have time for her kids. I had to leave because I couldn't raise my kid in the meth house. I had to leave my sister behind and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My mom did alot of things to me as a child. The first painful thing I remember is lying to me about my dad. I loved this man which was my sisters dad ( Robert) who raised me from infancy. I loved him and then at the age of 7 found out he wasn't my dad. It didn't hurt at that time it didn't hurt till the divorce and when I met my real dad ( Scott) at 9. My real dad was okay he isn't bad but not great I think he done the best he could at times. Okay back to the present. I have not seen or spoken to my mom in almost 6 years. At this point it was 3. I hated her and wanted to forgive her at the same time it was so confusing. How could you love someone and hate them at the same time. I felt she and other people robbed me of my childhood. That my life was pointless up until I had my first son and I gave him everything I had. How could I love my second son as much as I did could I love him that much. Well that was how I was feeling at this point so I wrote this. It helped me through the pain but I wanted her to see it her to know you suck and you made my life suck and I cant let you run my life anymore I want to forget you.